I made it a year!!

January 18 last year I didn't dip, so I guess that means now I've made it a full year.

It was really hard to do at first, but with the help of many quit buds at QSSN I did it!

359 dip free days

I've been 359 days without a dip!!!!

I still sometimes struggle with cravings, but I am close to a year off this shit!

Will post something after I hit my year (but still must focus on today, of course).

I got off the gum within about 55 days or so (not sure, frankly, as I was focused on not dipping a lot more than the nicotine gum, a much lesser of two evils). Getting off the gum was a piece of cake compared to stopping the dip. Switching from nic gum to normal gum was frankly about as easy as giving up Bubble Yum for Hubba Bubba gum.

Thanks for reading this blog.

I'm still chugging along, it's been 43 days off the stuff

The first 30 days were really rough. Lots of physical cravings (especially the first three days), and every place I went there was a trigger. The gas station: where I used to buy dip. The coffee shop: where I used to ninja dip. Home: dipping was sure fun there. Taking the dog to the park for a walk: oh I used to love dipping here. Mowing the lawn: fuck what a good time for a dip.

Now I've been through over a month of triggers, from one perspective it is frankly much easier to stay off the dip. The strong urges aren't there any more. I've hit something of a lull though. My quit isn't shiney, new, sexy, and cool anymore. It's starting to feel mundane, like it's not all that big of a challenge.

The danger is that I'll start to tinker with the idea of having "just one" dip. I don't want to fucking do that.

As for nicotine gum, I am almost completely off it at this point. That stuff was a fucking godsend. The cravings were really bad even with the gum. Without it, I would never have been able to put down the evil can of homocidal cat turds.

I want to cut out the nicotine gum completely pretty soon. I'm down to a quarter of a piece of the gum 1-3 times a day. It really isn't that bad. My plan is to stop it next weekend. However, I frankly don't give a fuck about that because I haven't used Skoal in over 40 days!!!

I'll let you know how getting off the nicotine gum goes once I start that. I pretty much feel like I don't need it now, but then when I tell myself to stop chewing it I start to feel really anxious, so there is some addiction component still operating there obviously.

But as I said, I frankly don't give a fuck about that because I haven't used Skoal in over 40 days!!! Some people have said this isn't a "real quit" because of the gum. To them, I say suck your mother's cheese-infested cunt bitch. We don't need your dogmatic idiocy in these parts. There are many ways to quit. I hope yours works for you, and if you aren't a fucking asshole, you will hope mine works for me.

Three weeks!

It's almost unbelievable as it seems like yesterday I flushed my last Apple Skoal can down the toilet, but it's now been three weeks off the cancer leaf!

The first week was definitely the hardest.

I've started to (informally) wean myself off the nicotine gum, using biting off half a piece of the 4mg piece now, sometimes less, and supplementing it with regular ol' sugar-free gum. In a week I plan to formally start weaning myself off the gum, taking half a piece at a time of the 4mg no more than once an hour. Then I'll set a date to go even less.

I don't mind that I'm on the gum right now. It has been a tough three weeks. The past week I was struck with crazy road rage in my car that set off an urge to chew. I often put a cat turd in my mouth to relax when I was angry. Now I get angry and just get more angry, so it seems I need to get some coping skills without the Cope.

One week!!!

I'm a week off the dip!!!

I know it's not a whole lot, and what is most important is just staying off the apple-flavored catshit today, but it feels nice to have gone through a full cycle, all my weekly habits etc, without putting it in my mouth.

The toughest time by far was Friday night, major urge. Yesterday I felt somewhat empty and bored, like there was a big gap in my life without the dip to occupy me on the weekend.

I'm using the gum a little less. After four weeks I plan to cut back to chewing a half piece of gum at a time (that's 2 mg of nicotine per dose rather than the 4 mg I get now with the full piece of gum).

But frankly right now I don't give a shit about the gum: just going through my life without the chew habits has been very fucking difficult. Going to the truck stop on the highway, playing video games late at night, doing boring crap at work, surfing the web on the weekend, all this stuff I did with the dip in. This past week I didn't. The gum has really helped me with the physical urges, but not completely, and not with the crazy strong habit-urges.

I made it three days!!!

The first three days are the worst in terms of crazy urges, I know from experience. Of course I am far from out of the woods. But I have been at home since last night and been able to give a respectful "No" to my urges to go to the store to score some Skoal (that's a tongue twister).

It is weird having all this free time at home. I don't have to sneak around putting in the dip, hide from my wife, waste time going to the store. I feel sort of empty without the dip. But I also see a hint of liberation.

I'm on day four. I am nowhere near out of the woods. I still am taking nicotine gum when I have the super urges (note no nicotine gum yet today!!!). But my goal was to stop dipping Skoal, so in that sense so far so good. The nicotine was really a small part of the overall habit, even if it is the most addictive part. I feel confident if I can continue with this giving up of the chew, I will be able to wean off the gum.

Day 3: Back at home

Back from vacation. Immediate urge to go buy a can of the Apple Demon of Death Can, but stayed home and played a video game instead. Tomorrow first full day at home. Nervous but hopeful.